Yesterday, I saw a kid standing under a street light with a place mat on his head, engrossed in playing with his own shadow. When kids don't have too many toys to play with, the only thing they are left with is their own imagination.
I wonder whether parents stifle the imagination of their kids these days by pampering them with too many toys ... or whether having the toys just helps them imagine bigger and better things - I doubt if this is the case though.
I had toys as a kid but never too many. My brother and I preferred to make our toys. We'd design vehicles using discarded medicine boxes with bottle caps for wheels and aluminium wires for axles. We'd spend a lot of time in the undergrowth on the border of the forest, playing vague games and generally hacking through with machetes fashioned out of bamboo. These were made by the local people that worked for my dad and were pretty effective and sharp.
At other times, we'd play in the garden. I remember digging a small circle in order to create an island. We would then fill the "moat" with water and spend the rest of the day collecting ants of different types and putting them there to see whether they would fight!
Chasing dragonflies and butterflies was another option ... and you could always eat sweet peas while at eat .. picking the pods straight off the vines.
When it was too hot or cold to be outside, we'd find things to do inside the house ... we'd make boats out of paper ... and sometimes more complicated constructs that we'd call "steamers". We'd then collect water in a sink and float them around.
At times, things got a tad more dangerous - though we didn't realize it then. Dad was posted in a border area that had seen some fighting during the war with China. So, it was quite easy to find spent ammunition in the garden as we pottered about. Brother and I were extremely interested in the darker stuff that we could see within the casing. We assumed it was not gunpowder since the bullet had already been shot ... so we collected a bunch of them, put them into a tin pencil box and shoved it into the fireplace (yup we had a fireplace in the kitchen in those days) early in the morning ... while parents were still asleep.
So there we were, crouched next to the fire place ... luckily for us, nothing exploded. We retrieved the box from the fire after a while and realized that the dark stuff had melted out and solidified again in weird designs ... it was lead I suppose.
That was when dad barged into the kitchen ... and the rest as they say is history :)
I feel sorry for the kids I see around me these days. Cramped within their houses, boxed in tiny vans to school, confined into classrooms with a bunch of disgruntled teachers to teach them ... boxed into a van back home ... and boxed into the home again ... with a maid perhaps instead of a parent or grandparent to take care of them ...
Guess it is no wonder that they behave the way they do ... our generation is so busy earning money that they probably wont realize till much later what a dysfunctional bunch of people they are helping create.
I hope they will realize what went wrong with them as kids and they shall take pains to give their children a better childhood ... and life shall have come back full circle.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
who is god?
Continuing with this Nibiru thing ...
Was wondering the other day - as far as most religions are concerned, God is defined as the bloke that created us. So now, if He was some alien geek in whatever constitutes a lab coat on their planet, would our religions then settle for calling him God?
I personally wouldn't. Nothing short of the creator of the universe itself would do for me I realized.
As a Hindu, I was introduced to a plethora of Gods early in life. I once asked mom ... how is it that our gods seem to have all the human failings? They get angry, they can be flattered, they get seduced ... you name it ... they have it ... all the failings. I can't quite remember what she answered then ... but at some later point I remember dwelling on the thought that any God with emotions would be a lesser God.
The "One" I reasoned should be unbiased. Good and Evil are what we see when we look at the small picture. From up there, He should be able to see the whole ... and the balance therein. For example, if you break up an atom you see electrons and protons and neutrons ... so electrons are negative (evil) ... protons are positive (good) and neutrons are neutral (wise ones) ... let us assume.
The atom as a whole is balanced and it would come apart or change into something fundamentally different if we were to take out any of the components. So, while I may perceive all these differences while I am inside the atom, once I come out of it, I see it as a stable whole. The universe should be similar for Mr. God is what I think.
Another way of looking at it is that the true God (if he is a unity and not a duality or a trinity etc.) would need to be neither good nor evil. So he cannot be pro-good. Everything in the universe needs to be in some sort of cosmic balance. If God is good, then who is bad? If God decides to be good, then by being good, he creates evil. If God is an Unity (something I have begun to doubt as I write this post) then he can neither be good nor evil. Any God that is good is therefore a lesser God again.
Which brings us to the point ... would religion be so enticing without the carrot of salvation and the stick of damnation? Would we really pray and stuff if we realized that God does not give a damn what we do. It does not matter to him any way. And, if someone ever appears and says it matters, this must be a lesser God. Powerful perhaps ... but not Him.
We are really free to do whatever we want to do. Any laws that the God does not want us to break, we can't. Just because you don't believe in gravity, you can't levitate. It takes a little more than that as you may have noticed. If there is something that you can do, it must be because He doesn't care whether you choose to do it or not.
And morality? Some time ago, it was quite alright and highly noble to burn women at the stake or dunk them into a river ... just label them as witches and this was all in a perfectly good day of work. If you want a more famous example there is always Joan of Arc ... but there a thousands of others that are not even named in history.
Today we look at it differently though. For all you know in another couple of centuries, it may be ok to do this to men - because they did it to women earlier ... burn them as warlocks perhaps ... if you don't believe this can happen you can read up on the reservation policy in India.
So ... there is no such thing as a moral absolute. The only way you can take a moral stance over the ages ... and be agnostic to the changing values is if you evaluate an action based on why it was done. The reason that guided the action ... was that good or was that bad? Even this does get a little dicey since good and bad changes with time. Today, if I may consider that anything done for the good of the society is good. A thousand years later, that may be considered to be sacrilege when people automate the basics and live more individualistic life styles requiring little or no interaction.
Then, the only way to evaluate an action is to ask "Why was this done? What were they trying to accomplish by doing this?" and then, once that question is answered, ask "was this purpose considered to be good or evil at the time when the deed was done?". Simple enough. That is what the Gita tells us.
Think about it... I wouldn't be surprised if you have a different answer. Even what we generally think about is based on the vocabulary we have. Very few people go through the process of creating new words to describe new concepts that we have no words for in the current language. Even our thoughts are therefore bound by the limitations of the language that we think in -unless we consciously break away from it....
Was wondering the other day - as far as most religions are concerned, God is defined as the bloke that created us. So now, if He was some alien geek in whatever constitutes a lab coat on their planet, would our religions then settle for calling him God?
I personally wouldn't. Nothing short of the creator of the universe itself would do for me I realized.
As a Hindu, I was introduced to a plethora of Gods early in life. I once asked mom ... how is it that our gods seem to have all the human failings? They get angry, they can be flattered, they get seduced ... you name it ... they have it ... all the failings. I can't quite remember what she answered then ... but at some later point I remember dwelling on the thought that any God with emotions would be a lesser God.
The "One" I reasoned should be unbiased. Good and Evil are what we see when we look at the small picture. From up there, He should be able to see the whole ... and the balance therein. For example, if you break up an atom you see electrons and protons and neutrons ... so electrons are negative (evil) ... protons are positive (good) and neutrons are neutral (wise ones) ... let us assume.
The atom as a whole is balanced and it would come apart or change into something fundamentally different if we were to take out any of the components. So, while I may perceive all these differences while I am inside the atom, once I come out of it, I see it as a stable whole. The universe should be similar for Mr. God is what I think.
Another way of looking at it is that the true God (if he is a unity and not a duality or a trinity etc.) would need to be neither good nor evil. So he cannot be pro-good. Everything in the universe needs to be in some sort of cosmic balance. If God is good, then who is bad? If God decides to be good, then by being good, he creates evil. If God is an Unity (something I have begun to doubt as I write this post) then he can neither be good nor evil. Any God that is good is therefore a lesser God again.
Which brings us to the point ... would religion be so enticing without the carrot of salvation and the stick of damnation? Would we really pray and stuff if we realized that God does not give a damn what we do. It does not matter to him any way. And, if someone ever appears and says it matters, this must be a lesser God. Powerful perhaps ... but not Him.
We are really free to do whatever we want to do. Any laws that the God does not want us to break, we can't. Just because you don't believe in gravity, you can't levitate. It takes a little more than that as you may have noticed. If there is something that you can do, it must be because He doesn't care whether you choose to do it or not.
And morality? Some time ago, it was quite alright and highly noble to burn women at the stake or dunk them into a river ... just label them as witches and this was all in a perfectly good day of work. If you want a more famous example there is always Joan of Arc ... but there a thousands of others that are not even named in history.
Today we look at it differently though. For all you know in another couple of centuries, it may be ok to do this to men - because they did it to women earlier ... burn them as warlocks perhaps ... if you don't believe this can happen you can read up on the reservation policy in India.
So ... there is no such thing as a moral absolute. The only way you can take a moral stance over the ages ... and be agnostic to the changing values is if you evaluate an action based on why it was done. The reason that guided the action ... was that good or was that bad? Even this does get a little dicey since good and bad changes with time. Today, if I may consider that anything done for the good of the society is good. A thousand years later, that may be considered to be sacrilege when people automate the basics and live more individualistic life styles requiring little or no interaction.
Then, the only way to evaluate an action is to ask "Why was this done? What were they trying to accomplish by doing this?" and then, once that question is answered, ask "was this purpose considered to be good or evil at the time when the deed was done?". Simple enough. That is what the Gita tells us.
Think about it... I wouldn't be surprised if you have a different answer. Even what we generally think about is based on the vocabulary we have. Very few people go through the process of creating new words to describe new concepts that we have no words for in the current language. Even our thoughts are therefore bound by the limitations of the language that we think in -unless we consciously break away from it....
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Apocalypse ... now?
I guess we are all resigned to the fact that Earth cannot and shall not last forever. While saddening, the thought isn't really unsettling because we believe that it will not happen in our lifetime. Nor will it happen in the life time of our kids ... or their kids ... so, there isn't much to lose. And there is always the hope that given the ages to come, we as a race shall be advanced enough by then to escape the calamity even if we are unable to avert it.
It would, on the other hand, be extremely unsettling if we were to believe that the earth would be destroyed in our life time. Over the last couple of days, I have discovered that a numerous number of people are actually living everyday of their lives under this terrible shadow - the "knowledge" that the earth shall be destroyed in their life times. What a terrible burden to carry. I can only admire them for the determination with which they carry on with their mundane existence despite the knowledge of what is to come.
I read through some of the literature that is available on the web, with an open mind ... or so I believe. A lot of the doomsday stuff is really crappy and I doubt I can open my mind enough to accept it ... without having my brain fall splat on the ground.
However, I was somewhat impressed by Sitchin and what he has to say about Nibiru. Though a lot of it sounds rather far fetched, the basic premise that there is another massive body in or near the solar system which we have not found so far sounds plausible.
There are some anomalies that we don't really have good enough explanations for ... like what is effecting the orbits of some of the outer planets ... and I guess scientists should keep an open mind too.
If most solar systems have planets in weird orbits, and we have found that Sedna in our own solar system has such an orbit, how can we confidently state that there is no other body that we have missed ...
We simply don't know enough yet ... and so, we cannot definitely say that Nibiru does not exist.
But ... what if it does?
It would, on the other hand, be extremely unsettling if we were to believe that the earth would be destroyed in our life time. Over the last couple of days, I have discovered that a numerous number of people are actually living everyday of their lives under this terrible shadow - the "knowledge" that the earth shall be destroyed in their life times. What a terrible burden to carry. I can only admire them for the determination with which they carry on with their mundane existence despite the knowledge of what is to come.
I read through some of the literature that is available on the web, with an open mind ... or so I believe. A lot of the doomsday stuff is really crappy and I doubt I can open my mind enough to accept it ... without having my brain fall splat on the ground.
However, I was somewhat impressed by Sitchin and what he has to say about Nibiru. Though a lot of it sounds rather far fetched, the basic premise that there is another massive body in or near the solar system which we have not found so far sounds plausible.
There are some anomalies that we don't really have good enough explanations for ... like what is effecting the orbits of some of the outer planets ... and I guess scientists should keep an open mind too.
If most solar systems have planets in weird orbits, and we have found that Sedna in our own solar system has such an orbit, how can we confidently state that there is no other body that we have missed ...
We simply don't know enough yet ... and so, we cannot definitely say that Nibiru does not exist.
But ... what if it does?
Friday, January 11, 2008
nano
Yesterday Tata motors showed the "nano" to the public for the first time.
Why is it such a big deal?
Because, it is the cheapest car anywhere in the world at 1,00,000 INR.
As Mr. Ratan Tata put it, making a car this cheap wasn't easy. But then he had promised the people of India a car for the common man ... and a promise is a promise.
It was interesting to hear the spokesman for Volkswagen - the original people's car - make vehement excuses as to why they could not even conceive of such a car ... far less produce it.
A promise is a promise all right. And I hung my head in shame as one of my childhood idols made a complete ass of herself on one of the TV channels. Medha Patkar it seems also believes that a promise is a promise ... and in her conviction, she went ahead to protest against the nano irrespective of whatever it may be.
As Billy Joel sang, as we grow older, instead of seeing black and white, we often see shades of grey. And just like everything else, the nano has its shades of grey. However, all that our NGOs can see is black and white ... and more black than white apparently.
What irked me no end was that none of these people were even waiting to see what the nano had to offer before condemning it.
Most of their concerns were vague at best ... a famous slogan "roti kapda makaan" ... food, clothing and shelter ... was mentioned a zillion times ... but exactly how that had anything to do with a technologically advanced small car wasn't quite apparent to me.
One concern they had was the fact that if more people bought cars, there would be more pollution.
My answer to that is ... don't bikes pollute?
Is a euro 4 compliant small car worse than a bike?
Who is losing if a family of 4 that travels on a 2 wheeler, upgrades to a 4 wheeler that is safer?
Apparently the NGOs are.
After all, they are not the ones that need to fear for the lives of their kids. Just like Maneka Gandhi can scream about cruelty against stray dogs, sitting in her ivory tower, while children on the street get brutally attacked and killed by them.
Some claim that the roads shall be more congested.
Hello!!!
One of the contributing factors to traffic congestion here in India is the fact that the variety of traffic on our roads. We have everything from bullock carts to sleeping cows to rickshaws, autos, trucks, bikes, cycles, cars, hand carts, the odd elephant or 2 and god only knows what else on our roads. The 2 wheelers get from one place to another faster only because the riders are willing to flout every rule. You will see them weaving in and out among the stopped cars at the traffic signals, you will see them go over the pavement, getting pushed in the wrong direction along one way streets ... if these people upgrade to a car, I am sure that the traffic situation can only get better ... there will be less people flagrantly violating rules ...
One thing about the nano that is indeed black is the manner in which the land for the factory is being acquired for it in West Bengal. But frankly, it is very difficult to understand what the ground reality really is. There is way too much politics involved. While it is quite believable that the communist party in power there may be responsible for all the things that it has been accused off, it is equally likely that the opposition parties there are just inciting the trouble to help there cause ... after all, Mamta Bannerjee is another lady who could have really done a lot for the country but finally turned out to be just another politician ...
Moving away from what other people think of the nano and what I think of them, personally, I believe that the nano is a landmark.
Why?
I think it is a brave thing to attempt. I don't think that car this cheap can be produced simply by cutting corners and reducing safety measures and such. It requires engineering and a paradigm shift at some very basic levels. Of course it remains to be seen whether this has really happened or whether this is really just about cutting corners.
Ratan Tata said that the car would have a mileage of about 20 kilometers to the litre and would follow euro IV emission norms. Exemplary if true - and so far, there is no reason to believe otherwise.
Had the same car been produced in Japan and imported into India - say by Suzuki under the Maruti banner - I am quite certain that the NGOs and environmentalists would have been absolutely delighted and would have welcomed it with open arms, not once doubting its claims. These people who are protesting against the nano lack the belief that we as Indians can create something better than what the rest of the world has already created. That makes this another landmark. The fact that it has been made in India.
There is a lot about India that isn't right ... but there is a lot that is right too. We cannot throw the baby out with the bath water. And we need to realize that necessity really is the mother of invention. No other country really needs a car this cheap ... in initial cost or in running costs. India needs such a car. It is no great shakes really that such a car should be born here.
I am not an optimist in general. However, this is something that I feel optimistic about. I think it is time that we as a country learnt to appreciate ourselves. Let us not wait for some European car award for the nano before embracing it. Let us not wait for an American car magazine to write a rave review before acknowledging the effort that takes in breaking a mindset. Let us not wait for Japanese approval before approving the car. Let us for once not be like a basket full of crabs pulling each other down to make sure that no one ever makes it out of the basket.
Let us give the nano time to prove itself before we sit in judgement. To even contemplate something like this is a huge step. If at the end of the time we realize that the nano leaves something to be desired, instead of deriding it, let us see how we can make it better. Let us figure out what works best for us as a country rather than following blindly in the wake of other countries.
Dunno whether these environmentalists and the likes pray ... if they do, maybe they should ask God to grant them the patience to wait and see whether a thing is good before raising hell ... the strength to raise hell when it is really required ... and the good sense to know when to be patient and when to raise hell.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Happy Old Year?
New Year was good ... and it is good to be back.
It is colder these days - especially towards the morning.
The guy that cleans the car hasn't come back to work for over a week now - talk about an extended New Year celebration - and the dew running off the car in the mornings leaves rather interesting patterns in the dust that has gathered.
What are the chances that he'll make an appearance the day after I clean the car myself? I am assuming rather high - which is why, in the meanwhile, I am rather content to be seen driving around in a car with sand colored leopard like spots on the roof and the bonnet and sand colored zebra like stripes on the sides.
The color is the car is about the same as Superman's tights ... so you can visualize just how amazing it looks :)
Been thinking some ... maybe I don't know about it ... but we don't have a festival/holiday when we look back or introspect. All the celebrations in popular culture ... the ones that have cut across religious boundaries for the most part such as New Year and birthday parties have people wishing us for our future. Shouldn't we have a day in the year when we look back at the year that has gone by and celebrate the things that we have done well, and learn from the things that we haven't been that good at?
I was just thinking whether it would make me a queer old timer if, when I have kids of my own, as a family we celebrate the New Year on 2 days. On the 30th perhaps, we can have a quiet family day when we spend time together and everyone is given time to actually look at the year that has passed by and take what they want from it ... and leave whatever they don't. Then New Year eve can be celebrated the way they want to celebrate ... at home ... or with friends ... sober ... or high... waking up to a fresh new morning ... or hungover staring around bleary eyed and trying hard to recollect what the name of the person lying next to them is ...
Yeah ... maybe I'll try that ... though I can already imagine myself sitting in a corner of my room on a wooden rocking chair ... in a huff ... with a cloud of smoke hovering over my head ... trying hard to retrospect ... but only managing to wonder why no one is willing to follow the head of the family ... while she potters about the house with a knowing smile and rakes up dish that she thinks will get me back on track ...
Surprising as it may seem, despite having thought quite a bit about this, and despite having spent the time to actually type it out in this post, I am yet to go over my last year ...
This weekend perhaps ... or next New Year maybe ... who knows?
It is colder these days - especially towards the morning.
The guy that cleans the car hasn't come back to work for over a week now - talk about an extended New Year celebration - and the dew running off the car in the mornings leaves rather interesting patterns in the dust that has gathered.
What are the chances that he'll make an appearance the day after I clean the car myself? I am assuming rather high - which is why, in the meanwhile, I am rather content to be seen driving around in a car with sand colored leopard like spots on the roof and the bonnet and sand colored zebra like stripes on the sides.
The color is the car is about the same as Superman's tights ... so you can visualize just how amazing it looks :)
Been thinking some ... maybe I don't know about it ... but we don't have a festival/holiday when we look back or introspect. All the celebrations in popular culture ... the ones that have cut across religious boundaries for the most part such as New Year and birthday parties have people wishing us for our future. Shouldn't we have a day in the year when we look back at the year that has gone by and celebrate the things that we have done well, and learn from the things that we haven't been that good at?
I was just thinking whether it would make me a queer old timer if, when I have kids of my own, as a family we celebrate the New Year on 2 days. On the 30th perhaps, we can have a quiet family day when we spend time together and everyone is given time to actually look at the year that has passed by and take what they want from it ... and leave whatever they don't. Then New Year eve can be celebrated the way they want to celebrate ... at home ... or with friends ... sober ... or high... waking up to a fresh new morning ... or hungover staring around bleary eyed and trying hard to recollect what the name of the person lying next to them is ...
Yeah ... maybe I'll try that ... though I can already imagine myself sitting in a corner of my room on a wooden rocking chair ... in a huff ... with a cloud of smoke hovering over my head ... trying hard to retrospect ... but only managing to wonder why no one is willing to follow the head of the family ... while she potters about the house with a knowing smile and rakes up dish that she thinks will get me back on track ...
Surprising as it may seem, despite having thought quite a bit about this, and despite having spent the time to actually type it out in this post, I am yet to go over my last year ...
This weekend perhaps ... or next New Year maybe ... who knows?
Friday, December 28, 2007
all set!!!
medical bills - submitted
electricity bill - paid
telephone bill - paid
water bill - paid
credit card bill - paid
plants - watered
kitchen - cleaned
overhead tank- filled up
garbage - dumped
laptop - given to a friend for safe keeping
car - parked at the office
out of office assistant - set
neighbors - informed
all doors and windows - shut
yeah ... just about set to take off for the new year celebrations ... mumbai ... here I come ...
that is just a sample of the huge checklist that I had to go through over the last few days to make it happen ... but finally, it is all done and in a couple of hours, I'll be at the airport, praying that the flight is on time ...
come what may, I intend to have a good time. have prepared even in the case the flight is delayed. have a couple of paperbacks handy ... packed within easy reach!
well, so this will almost definitely be my last post this year.
So here we are, on planet earth as it whizzes through space, celebrating the fact that it is about to complete another revolution around the sun. But things change ... just as time flows and we can never go back to where we were the last time the earth was here, earth really isn't where it was the last time. For the galaxy spins as well ... and the Sun revolves around the galactic centre ... and the galaxy moves too ... as a part of the apparent expansion of the universe ... not to mention the wobble of the earth on its axis and a zillion other things that I don't even know about.
but then ... who cares?
you don't really need a reason to celebrate. there is no reason why everyday shouldn't be a new year .... so, lets get down to it :)
Wish you all a Happy New Year!!!
Stay Safe. Party Hard.
I shall see you on the other side ...
electricity bill - paid
telephone bill - paid
water bill - paid
credit card bill - paid
plants - watered
kitchen - cleaned
overhead tank- filled up
garbage - dumped
laptop - given to a friend for safe keeping
car - parked at the office
out of office assistant - set
neighbors - informed
all doors and windows - shut
yeah ... just about set to take off for the new year celebrations ... mumbai ... here I come ...
that is just a sample of the huge checklist that I had to go through over the last few days to make it happen ... but finally, it is all done and in a couple of hours, I'll be at the airport, praying that the flight is on time ...
come what may, I intend to have a good time. have prepared even in the case the flight is delayed. have a couple of paperbacks handy ... packed within easy reach!
well, so this will almost definitely be my last post this year.
So here we are, on planet earth as it whizzes through space, celebrating the fact that it is about to complete another revolution around the sun. But things change ... just as time flows and we can never go back to where we were the last time the earth was here, earth really isn't where it was the last time. For the galaxy spins as well ... and the Sun revolves around the galactic centre ... and the galaxy moves too ... as a part of the apparent expansion of the universe ... not to mention the wobble of the earth on its axis and a zillion other things that I don't even know about.
but then ... who cares?
you don't really need a reason to celebrate. there is no reason why everyday shouldn't be a new year .... so, lets get down to it :)
Wish you all a Happy New Year!!!
Stay Safe. Party Hard.
I shall see you on the other side ...
Thursday, December 20, 2007
rainy day
one of those days ... again.
last night, I dozed off listening to the sound of the rain ... I missed the sound that it makes when it beats down on a tin roof ... almost a constant background score for my childhood years. Here, I can't really hear it as it hits the concrete roof ... but I can hear it as it falls off the eaves into the little pools below ... plop ... plop ... ... plop.
There was a slight wind blowing as well. It wasn't too loud. You wouldn't have heard it unless you were alone perhaps ... no TV and no conversation to drown out the sound. It wasn't very cold ... but that sound really made me feel glad to be tucked in under the heavy cotton quilt.
Woke up early. Well rested. I sleep better when it is cold. With all the rain, there was one thing less to do this morning - I didn't have to water the plants. Opened the door to the terrace and stepped out to check what the day looked like. Overcast. The clouds looked too low and too heavy for comfort. Closed the door and tiptoed downstairs. It feels sacrilegious to break the silence in the mornings.
Brushed. Hunted for something clean to heat the water for the tea. Ground in some fresh pepper as the water boiled ... poured in a spoon of honey into the cup and the tea leaves into the sieve ... watched the water boil ... heard the bubbles as they rose to the surface and popped ... waited for the pepper to color the water ... just a little ... poured it over the tea leaves .... and smelt heaven.
A few minutes later, I found myself seated on my favourite side of the dining table ... looking out the window ... tea ... cigarette and a couple of salted biscuits. Contemplating the rain. Contemplating the mud.
15 minutes of peace ... 15 minutes of quiet ... 15 minutes of God.
In a Godless world.
last night, I dozed off listening to the sound of the rain ... I missed the sound that it makes when it beats down on a tin roof ... almost a constant background score for my childhood years. Here, I can't really hear it as it hits the concrete roof ... but I can hear it as it falls off the eaves into the little pools below ... plop ... plop ... ... plop.
There was a slight wind blowing as well. It wasn't too loud. You wouldn't have heard it unless you were alone perhaps ... no TV and no conversation to drown out the sound. It wasn't very cold ... but that sound really made me feel glad to be tucked in under the heavy cotton quilt.
Woke up early. Well rested. I sleep better when it is cold. With all the rain, there was one thing less to do this morning - I didn't have to water the plants. Opened the door to the terrace and stepped out to check what the day looked like. Overcast. The clouds looked too low and too heavy for comfort. Closed the door and tiptoed downstairs. It feels sacrilegious to break the silence in the mornings.
Brushed. Hunted for something clean to heat the water for the tea. Ground in some fresh pepper as the water boiled ... poured in a spoon of honey into the cup and the tea leaves into the sieve ... watched the water boil ... heard the bubbles as they rose to the surface and popped ... waited for the pepper to color the water ... just a little ... poured it over the tea leaves .... and smelt heaven.
A few minutes later, I found myself seated on my favourite side of the dining table ... looking out the window ... tea ... cigarette and a couple of salted biscuits. Contemplating the rain. Contemplating the mud.
15 minutes of peace ... 15 minutes of quiet ... 15 minutes of God.
In a Godless world.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
has anyone ever transported a pet in india?
I want to get our dog and cats from my home town to Bangalore. Amazing at it seems, I can't seem to find a single way of doing it. It seems to be a gray area for most airlines and though the railways apparently allow it, I have not been able to confirm it officially so far.
It is quite disheartening really. Hopefully I shall find a way. The last thing we want is to leave them behind. And leaving them with other people isn't that easy either when they are such an integral part of the family.
Could the politicians that hog the airwaves preaching about cruelty towards animals and vegetarianism please do something to ensure that at least the government run transport systems have some clear guidelines regarding the transportation of pets?
I am sure this would help to some extent in reducing the number of stray dogs in our cities as well - so many of them wear collars. Perhaps their owners were unable to take them along when they changed location and left them to fend for themselves.
Suggestions welcome ...
Perhaps I can take a month off and spend it driving through the country from the North East to the South West with a dog and a couple of cats :)
It is quite disheartening really. Hopefully I shall find a way. The last thing we want is to leave them behind. And leaving them with other people isn't that easy either when they are such an integral part of the family.
Could the politicians that hog the airwaves preaching about cruelty towards animals and vegetarianism please do something to ensure that at least the government run transport systems have some clear guidelines regarding the transportation of pets?
I am sure this would help to some extent in reducing the number of stray dogs in our cities as well - so many of them wear collars. Perhaps their owners were unable to take them along when they changed location and left them to fend for themselves.
Suggestions welcome ...
Perhaps I can take a month off and spend it driving through the country from the North East to the South West with a dog and a couple of cats :)
Friday, December 14, 2007
П (pi)
Here I am. So full of the everyday, so full of the mundane, so full of the uneventful, so full of ....
That I have forgotten to look at the stars.
And then, I was awarded a book coupon. This lead to more contemplation of the mundane: Should I use this coupon to buy some of the books that I swear by but are unfortunately missing in my bookshelf? Or do I buy something new?
New won the day. It has been too long I felt. Too long since I have thought of new things. Time to move on. To explore new thoughts. New paths. And so, I got myself 4 books. A couple of them written by authors that I have read previously and a couple that are completely new.
That is how I ended up spending a couple of sleepless nights - reading "Contact" by Carl Sagan.
Any path is just a path ... or something to that effect said Don Juan ... or at least that is what Carlos Castaneda made of what he had been taught... And here I am, trudging along on a well beaten path, when I pick up a book and realize just how far I am from where I had begun - that I have forgotten to look at the stars.
The stars, perhaps, missing an admirer, conspired to send this book my way. That is how I discovered or should I say re-discovered П.
If that weren't conspiracy enough, it is just over a month since I got engaged ... and finally started wearing a ring ... a circle ... and here I am ... back full circle as it were ... and inexorably connected to one of the universal truths by a small circle of my very own. A part of the cosmos contemplating itself.
If this sounds incomplete, so let it be.
It is not for me to find your П for you ... and sharing mine may not help much with that either.
I do hope you find it though.
And I do hope I don't lose mine yet again.
That I have forgotten to look at the stars.
And then, I was awarded a book coupon. This lead to more contemplation of the mundane: Should I use this coupon to buy some of the books that I swear by but are unfortunately missing in my bookshelf? Or do I buy something new?
New won the day. It has been too long I felt. Too long since I have thought of new things. Time to move on. To explore new thoughts. New paths. And so, I got myself 4 books. A couple of them written by authors that I have read previously and a couple that are completely new.
That is how I ended up spending a couple of sleepless nights - reading "Contact" by Carl Sagan.
Any path is just a path ... or something to that effect said Don Juan ... or at least that is what Carlos Castaneda made of what he had been taught... And here I am, trudging along on a well beaten path, when I pick up a book and realize just how far I am from where I had begun - that I have forgotten to look at the stars.
The stars, perhaps, missing an admirer, conspired to send this book my way. That is how I discovered or should I say re-discovered П.
If that weren't conspiracy enough, it is just over a month since I got engaged ... and finally started wearing a ring ... a circle ... and here I am ... back full circle as it were ... and inexorably connected to one of the universal truths by a small circle of my very own. A part of the cosmos contemplating itself.
If this sounds incomplete, so let it be.
It is not for me to find your П for you ... and sharing mine may not help much with that either.
I do hope you find it though.
And I do hope I don't lose mine yet again.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
maya
the world is maya ... everything in this world is a maya ...
for my lone south american reader i'll need to clarify here that i am not talking of the mayan civilization ... maya is a term that means illusion ... in my mother tongue it also means attachment and fondness ... in addition to illusion
as a hindu, initially by birth and later by choice, despite not being devout in the fundamental sense ... neither liberal in the "sitting on the fence" sense, the concept of the world and everything in it being an illusion is something that i concur with. one of the reasons perhaps, why i love richard bach's writing so much and cannot go beyond some 10 posts or so without talking about matrix.
so why talk of maya?
not to convince anyone else into looking at the world i do. but more to remind myself.
it hits you at weird times ... like the other day for instance, while i was watching the news regarding the stock markets ... the sub prime mess in the US and how it was impacting the markets world wide ... and how the various agents were playing out ....
isn't it amazing ... we began with a barter system ... i grow potatoes you grow meat ... i give you some potatoes ... you give me some meat and we both have a bit of both ... but what if you want wool and i want meat? no deal? but then the guy who has wool already has meat so he doesn't want meat ... duh?
so we settle on a thing that is valuable for everyone ... gold ... so i buy meat in exchange for gold ... you take that gold and use it to buy wool .. fur ... whatever ...
and then gold becomes a little cumbersome to lug around ... and it isn't all that safe to carry ... so then comes the replacement ... right from the time of Templar ... who were the first perhaps to start giving paper notes in lieu of money ... not really sure about the history but something along those lines ...
and then we have paper money ... and like that isn't enough, we now have credit cards and electronic money transfers and what not ... all make believe ... a system that we have created ...
and how often do we really look at it for what it is? an illusion that we can choose to change the way we want to? a concept born of our imagination and limited only by it...
and imagine how it has changed our world .. our definition of what constitutes "useful" work ... probably at least 80% of the work in the world ... if not more is absolutely unrelated to the things that we basically need ... food ... clothes ... shelter ... and yet we don't really need to worry about any of these things ...
farmer: so what do you do for a living?
writer: i write.
farmer: oh! but i have potatoes ... can i exchange it for something with you?
writer: sure i'll give you 3 poems for 10 potatoes ...
farmer: but i can't read ... and i don't like poetry ... sorry ... i'll go to someone who has meat ... or perhaps if you could water my fields ...
writer: no i'd rather stay hungry than water the fields ... i do a white collar job you know :)
the point of this post is not about hungry writers or money or even maya by itself.
as autumn turns to winter and the air gets colder, you feel the air as you breathe it in ... making you more aware of the fact that you are breathing ... more aware of the fact that you are alive ... and it helps you realize things that you don't always realize in warmer climes ...
like the fact that of all the illusions, one of the biggest perhaps is the one of not being alone. it does not matter how many friends you have ... how much family ... how much love ... how many enemies ... how much hate ... they are all just illusions ...
you are never ever anything but alone.
for my lone south american reader i'll need to clarify here that i am not talking of the mayan civilization ... maya is a term that means illusion ... in my mother tongue it also means attachment and fondness ... in addition to illusion
as a hindu, initially by birth and later by choice, despite not being devout in the fundamental sense ... neither liberal in the "sitting on the fence" sense, the concept of the world and everything in it being an illusion is something that i concur with. one of the reasons perhaps, why i love richard bach's writing so much and cannot go beyond some 10 posts or so without talking about matrix.
so why talk of maya?
not to convince anyone else into looking at the world i do. but more to remind myself.
it hits you at weird times ... like the other day for instance, while i was watching the news regarding the stock markets ... the sub prime mess in the US and how it was impacting the markets world wide ... and how the various agents were playing out ....
isn't it amazing ... we began with a barter system ... i grow potatoes you grow meat ... i give you some potatoes ... you give me some meat and we both have a bit of both ... but what if you want wool and i want meat? no deal? but then the guy who has wool already has meat so he doesn't want meat ... duh?
so we settle on a thing that is valuable for everyone ... gold ... so i buy meat in exchange for gold ... you take that gold and use it to buy wool .. fur ... whatever ...
and then gold becomes a little cumbersome to lug around ... and it isn't all that safe to carry ... so then comes the replacement ... right from the time of Templar ... who were the first perhaps to start giving paper notes in lieu of money ... not really sure about the history but something along those lines ...
and then we have paper money ... and like that isn't enough, we now have credit cards and electronic money transfers and what not ... all make believe ... a system that we have created ...
and how often do we really look at it for what it is? an illusion that we can choose to change the way we want to? a concept born of our imagination and limited only by it...
and imagine how it has changed our world .. our definition of what constitutes "useful" work ... probably at least 80% of the work in the world ... if not more is absolutely unrelated to the things that we basically need ... food ... clothes ... shelter ... and yet we don't really need to worry about any of these things ...
farmer: so what do you do for a living?
writer: i write.
farmer: oh! but i have potatoes ... can i exchange it for something with you?
writer: sure i'll give you 3 poems for 10 potatoes ...
farmer: but i can't read ... and i don't like poetry ... sorry ... i'll go to someone who has meat ... or perhaps if you could water my fields ...
writer: no i'd rather stay hungry than water the fields ... i do a white collar job you know :)
the point of this post is not about hungry writers or money or even maya by itself.
as autumn turns to winter and the air gets colder, you feel the air as you breathe it in ... making you more aware of the fact that you are breathing ... more aware of the fact that you are alive ... and it helps you realize things that you don't always realize in warmer climes ...
like the fact that of all the illusions, one of the biggest perhaps is the one of not being alone. it does not matter how many friends you have ... how much family ... how much love ... how many enemies ... how much hate ... they are all just illusions ...
you are never ever anything but alone.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
unposted
Oh ...
if only we could unask a question ...
if only we could unlive a life ...
Does the wind really blow?
Or does it suck at your flesh as it brushes past your cheeks?
Words are not enough.
They never are.
For things new and for things old.
To think of things that do not exist you need words that do not exist either.
But then you create ... the thought ... and the words ... the language ... to describe what you create.
But do you create it?
Can you create something that cannot exist?
You can't.
If you can't create something that cannot exist, then anything that you create can be created only because the possibility of its creation exists ...
so do you really create anything at all?
Or does everything already exist?
If so, where does everything exist?
Is there a place where everything has a place ... before it exists ... and after it is destroyed?
Or did this place just get created because I thought of it?
Do I know the answers?
If I think I do, does that change the answers?
Does it change the question?
The questions ... do they exist before I ask them?
Can I ask a question that cannot be asked?
Maybe I should unpost this post :)
if only we could unask a question ...
if only we could unlive a life ...
Does the wind really blow?
Or does it suck at your flesh as it brushes past your cheeks?
Words are not enough.
They never are.
For things new and for things old.
To think of things that do not exist you need words that do not exist either.
But then you create ... the thought ... and the words ... the language ... to describe what you create.
But do you create it?
Can you create something that cannot exist?
You can't.
If you can't create something that cannot exist, then anything that you create can be created only because the possibility of its creation exists ...
so do you really create anything at all?
Or does everything already exist?
If so, where does everything exist?
Is there a place where everything has a place ... before it exists ... and after it is destroyed?
Or did this place just get created because I thought of it?
Do I know the answers?
If I think I do, does that change the answers?
Does it change the question?
The questions ... do they exist before I ask them?
Can I ask a question that cannot be asked?
Maybe I should unpost this post :)
Thursday, November 22, 2007
100th
A century ... nothing remarkable really ... this isn't even a "blog of note".
I don't generally post twice on a day ... in fact, I don't think I have done that even once in the past 2 years since I started. So ... is it because I have more time in my hands today or is it to complete the century? Nobody wants to do a Sachin Tendulkar and miss century after reaching the nineties!
Neither actually. Was reading some stuff when I realized that one of our VPs had made it to Crain's 40 under 40 list. He is just 32.
I don't see myself becoming the VP of my company in the next 2 years. In fact, I am not sure that I'll make it till 40 either.
So ... what is wrong? I - in my arrogance perhaps - believe that I have it in me to make a mark ... to do something in this world that is worth it ... be successful. Why hasn't it happened yet then? What am I doing wrong?
To quote from JC, "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,But in ourselves, that we are underlings."
Need to find this fault in me ... and rectify it fast ... time is running out!!!
I don't generally post twice on a day ... in fact, I don't think I have done that even once in the past 2 years since I started. So ... is it because I have more time in my hands today or is it to complete the century? Nobody wants to do a Sachin Tendulkar and miss century after reaching the nineties!
Neither actually. Was reading some stuff when I realized that one of our VPs had made it to Crain's 40 under 40 list. He is just 32.
I don't see myself becoming the VP of my company in the next 2 years. In fact, I am not sure that I'll make it till 40 either.
So ... what is wrong? I - in my arrogance perhaps - believe that I have it in me to make a mark ... to do something in this world that is worth it ... be successful. Why hasn't it happened yet then? What am I doing wrong?
To quote from JC, "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,But in ourselves, that we are underlings."
Need to find this fault in me ... and rectify it fast ... time is running out!!!
not writing
Started going to the gym some a couple of weeks ago. This isn't the first time. Over the years, I have tried several times but eventually, the enthusiasm petered down every time. This time, I hope it lasts me my life time.
Finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired. The air quality here in Bangalore has been deteriorating over the years. The first couple of years at work, I didn't have to take a single day off for not feeling well. This year on the other hand has been particularly bad... since August, I have had to take off at least 3 times!!!
So, after being on medication for a while, decided to stop popping pills and try the gym again. Feeling good ... more of a mental thing :) ... couldn't sleep much last night since every joint in the body was paining. Also trying to get a little regular with everyday things such as sleeping and waking up ... and trying to sleep 8 hours a day till things get better ... already I can feel the improvement in that area ... I think in another couple of weeks I can again cut back a couple of hours ... 6 hours should be fine.
Haven't been reading much either of late ... things were rather hectic I guess. The unabridged version of Moby Dick that I had started reading again a couple of months ago is still stuck half way. The Gibran I'd lent out hasn't come back .. need to get that too ... picked up "The Tao of Physics" again. I really like that book ... sometimes.
The magic that some authors are able to bring forth in their books is that you can read the same book umpteen number of times and never get tired of it. The reason being that your interpretation of the contents depends a great deal on the state of your mind. Hence, depending on your frame of mind, each time you read the book, you realize something new ... or different from whatever you saw the last time.
When I come across a book like that, I like to buy it.
Then - though I don't do this very often myself - you can scribble notes as you read the book on the book itself ... and make sure that you date the notes. The next time you read, you can do the same again ... in that way, you get to see how your interpretation of the book changes with time. It is a really interesting way of realizing how our perceptions change with time. How, at times we are more mature ... and at times we are less. How, our situation at a particular time colors everything we see ... even though we don't realize it at the time.
I wish I could write something like that.
Something that isn't just nice to read ... but holds up a mirror to the reader. A reflection of what is in your eyes rather than mine ... a reflection of your thoughts ... a reflection of your feelings ... of your passions ... your beliefs ... your dreams ... your desires ... a reflection that shows everything that is not there to be seen in a mirror ... and a reflection that captures time and timelessness ... that in its ripples remembers the you that were, the you that you are and the you that will be ...
Now you know why I'll never be an author ...
Finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired. The air quality here in Bangalore has been deteriorating over the years. The first couple of years at work, I didn't have to take a single day off for not feeling well. This year on the other hand has been particularly bad... since August, I have had to take off at least 3 times!!!
So, after being on medication for a while, decided to stop popping pills and try the gym again. Feeling good ... more of a mental thing :) ... couldn't sleep much last night since every joint in the body was paining. Also trying to get a little regular with everyday things such as sleeping and waking up ... and trying to sleep 8 hours a day till things get better ... already I can feel the improvement in that area ... I think in another couple of weeks I can again cut back a couple of hours ... 6 hours should be fine.
Haven't been reading much either of late ... things were rather hectic I guess. The unabridged version of Moby Dick that I had started reading again a couple of months ago is still stuck half way. The Gibran I'd lent out hasn't come back .. need to get that too ... picked up "The Tao of Physics" again. I really like that book ... sometimes.
The magic that some authors are able to bring forth in their books is that you can read the same book umpteen number of times and never get tired of it. The reason being that your interpretation of the contents depends a great deal on the state of your mind. Hence, depending on your frame of mind, each time you read the book, you realize something new ... or different from whatever you saw the last time.
When I come across a book like that, I like to buy it.
Then - though I don't do this very often myself - you can scribble notes as you read the book on the book itself ... and make sure that you date the notes. The next time you read, you can do the same again ... in that way, you get to see how your interpretation of the book changes with time. It is a really interesting way of realizing how our perceptions change with time. How, at times we are more mature ... and at times we are less. How, our situation at a particular time colors everything we see ... even though we don't realize it at the time.
I wish I could write something like that.
Something that isn't just nice to read ... but holds up a mirror to the reader. A reflection of what is in your eyes rather than mine ... a reflection of your thoughts ... a reflection of your feelings ... of your passions ... your beliefs ... your dreams ... your desires ... a reflection that shows everything that is not there to be seen in a mirror ... and a reflection that captures time and timelessness ... that in its ripples remembers the you that were, the you that you are and the you that will be ...
Now you know why I'll never be an author ...
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
no readers
Not too many readers of late for my blog ... or maybe people are reading and not commenting.
Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that my posts have become rather sporadic too.
In fact, just to equal the number of posts that I wrote last year, I'll have to be pretty regular for whatever is left of this year.
Quite amazing really how fast the years fly by. I don't know whether this is true for others but I somehow feel that as a kid - right up to 10th standard - a year would stretch for ever. I'd get tired of being in the same class for what seemed like an eternity ... reading the same text books ... giving the same tests ... getting bored out of my bones .... in general.
From about the time I reached 11th, time has started flowing faster. The first sign of this was that around this time, for the first time I was unable to fit in everything that I wanted to do in 24 hours. This is about when I started cutting down on sleep in order to have more time for other stuff ... sometimes as less than 4 hours a day ... till I'd eventually start feeling feverish and catch up on sleep... perhaps about once a week. I couldn't imagine how anyone could possible sleep 8 hours in a day ... because that meant sleeping away one-third of a life that is way too short to begin with ... "we are like butterflies that flutter for a day and think it is eternity" to quote carl segan ...
Somehow, time never did slow down after that. All through engineering, the same problem remained. One new year eve hangover seemed to merge into the next in too brief a time. I thought then that perhaps this was because a semester was less boring than a full year ... though nothing really changed, perhaps it was the illusion of progress ... and having to study for 2 sets of exams in a year .. not to mention 2 set of holidays and "common-offs" that made the time fly by.
But here I am now, working ... at the same job many years at a time ... sleeping 8 hours again (much to my horror to make up for the allergies and stuff) ... no exams ... no holidays ... just work ... and yet ... time refuses to slow down. It is hurtling by at such a high speed that I am not even aware of the passing ... except for the attrition at the hairline thanks to the friction ...
So it is that time of the year again ... when you look back ... awe struck that another year has gone by ... and wonder ...
Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that my posts have become rather sporadic too.
In fact, just to equal the number of posts that I wrote last year, I'll have to be pretty regular for whatever is left of this year.
Quite amazing really how fast the years fly by. I don't know whether this is true for others but I somehow feel that as a kid - right up to 10th standard - a year would stretch for ever. I'd get tired of being in the same class for what seemed like an eternity ... reading the same text books ... giving the same tests ... getting bored out of my bones .... in general.
From about the time I reached 11th, time has started flowing faster. The first sign of this was that around this time, for the first time I was unable to fit in everything that I wanted to do in 24 hours. This is about when I started cutting down on sleep in order to have more time for other stuff ... sometimes as less than 4 hours a day ... till I'd eventually start feeling feverish and catch up on sleep... perhaps about once a week. I couldn't imagine how anyone could possible sleep 8 hours in a day ... because that meant sleeping away one-third of a life that is way too short to begin with ... "we are like butterflies that flutter for a day and think it is eternity" to quote carl segan ...
Somehow, time never did slow down after that. All through engineering, the same problem remained. One new year eve hangover seemed to merge into the next in too brief a time. I thought then that perhaps this was because a semester was less boring than a full year ... though nothing really changed, perhaps it was the illusion of progress ... and having to study for 2 sets of exams in a year .. not to mention 2 set of holidays and "common-offs" that made the time fly by.
But here I am now, working ... at the same job many years at a time ... sleeping 8 hours again (much to my horror to make up for the allergies and stuff) ... no exams ... no holidays ... just work ... and yet ... time refuses to slow down. It is hurtling by at such a high speed that I am not even aware of the passing ... except for the attrition at the hairline thanks to the friction ...
So it is that time of the year again ... when you look back ... awe struck that another year has gone by ... and wonder ...
Friday, November 16, 2007
Imagine
Imagine silence. Imagine stillness. Imagine peace.
A silence where every sound feels like a ripple on a dark subterranean pond ... like the legs of a water spider ... bending the surface of the water but not quite breaking it ...
A stillness where every movement feels like a dance ... like the motion of the sea in some long forgotten cove on a deserted island ... as it gently reaches out to caress the land ... and tremulous retraces immediately ... noiseless...
A peace where every thought is like a wisp of cloud ... floating across a clear blue sky ... as you watch ... lying on your back on the grass ... bathed in warm sunshine ... following it with your eyes as it disappears into thin air ... or ... over the horizon...
Imagine everything beautiful. Imagine everything perfect.
Imagine ....
A silence where every sound feels like a ripple on a dark subterranean pond ... like the legs of a water spider ... bending the surface of the water but not quite breaking it ...
A stillness where every movement feels like a dance ... like the motion of the sea in some long forgotten cove on a deserted island ... as it gently reaches out to caress the land ... and tremulous retraces immediately ... noiseless...
A peace where every thought is like a wisp of cloud ... floating across a clear blue sky ... as you watch ... lying on your back on the grass ... bathed in warm sunshine ... following it with your eyes as it disappears into thin air ... or ... over the horizon...
Imagine everything beautiful. Imagine everything perfect.
Imagine ....
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Going to hollywood!!!
Bloody boring posts!!!
I have deleted 3 drafts since morning. I want to write ... and yet I cant!!!
Writer's block!
Which would be fine if I were a writer. But I am not.
I am a blogger ... so is this a blogger's block?
Or since I type in my posts, is this a typist's block?
Or, considering the fact that I churn out posts, perhaps this is a poster's block?
Maybe, I am just happen to be in some sort of karmic sync with the writers in the US that went on a much publicised strike bringing some shows off the air.
Perhaps this is my chance to make it big? In a world where all the work from the first world is getting outsourced to the third, perhaps I can take this strike as an opportunity to showcase my talents ... and prove that we have what it takes to take on the responsibility ... if that is what it takes to churn out year after year and season after season of soap to keep a popcorn eating gigmanity glued by their butts to their coaches ...
Yeah ... and at half the cost!!!
Perhaps I can pull of a coup and get to write the next season of "sex and the city" ... give it a third world context perhaps and name it "shacks and the shitty" or something equally full of subtle humor ... and meaning?
Perhaps I could write Jay Leno's show - they were worried that it'd go off the air since he generally spoofs current affairs ... Now that was news ... Jay Leno doesn't crack his own jokes?
Here in India, someone plants a coconut tree ... some poor bugger risks life and limb to climb up the infernal thing and bring down the darn coconut ... someone sells it ... someone else buys it ... and someone eventually cracks it some place ... generally on the floor of some temple. So, the idea that someone doesn't crack their own jokes is not such an alien concept after all ... we don't crack our own nuts either (pardon the pun) ... so this is a viable option too!
Darn .. what else? Hollywood movies? Who knows?
I don't think I am willing to give up on that either as mission impossible!
So, maybe this is it ... maybe this is my last post ...
Hollywood ... here I come!!!
(Spider man had better be prepared to climb some coconut trees in his next sequel to a sequel to a sequel)
I have deleted 3 drafts since morning. I want to write ... and yet I cant!!!
Writer's block!
Which would be fine if I were a writer. But I am not.
I am a blogger ... so is this a blogger's block?
Or since I type in my posts, is this a typist's block?
Or, considering the fact that I churn out posts, perhaps this is a poster's block?
Maybe, I am just happen to be in some sort of karmic sync with the writers in the US that went on a much publicised strike bringing some shows off the air.
Perhaps this is my chance to make it big? In a world where all the work from the first world is getting outsourced to the third, perhaps I can take this strike as an opportunity to showcase my talents ... and prove that we have what it takes to take on the responsibility ... if that is what it takes to churn out year after year and season after season of soap to keep a popcorn eating gigmanity glued by their butts to their coaches ...
Yeah ... and at half the cost!!!
Perhaps I can pull of a coup and get to write the next season of "sex and the city" ... give it a third world context perhaps and name it "shacks and the shitty" or something equally full of subtle humor ... and meaning?
Perhaps I could write Jay Leno's show - they were worried that it'd go off the air since he generally spoofs current affairs ... Now that was news ... Jay Leno doesn't crack his own jokes?
Here in India, someone plants a coconut tree ... some poor bugger risks life and limb to climb up the infernal thing and bring down the darn coconut ... someone sells it ... someone else buys it ... and someone eventually cracks it some place ... generally on the floor of some temple. So, the idea that someone doesn't crack their own jokes is not such an alien concept after all ... we don't crack our own nuts either (pardon the pun) ... so this is a viable option too!
Darn .. what else? Hollywood movies? Who knows?
I don't think I am willing to give up on that either as mission impossible!
So, maybe this is it ... maybe this is my last post ...
Hollywood ... here I come!!!
(Spider man had better be prepared to climb some coconut trees in his next sequel to a sequel to a sequel)
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Autumn
Autumn is finally here ... again.
(The first time I declared that to be the case was towards the end of July if I remember right)
I felt it this morning as I woke up - despite the sneezing. Saw it - as I opened the door and stepped out - in the clear blue skies and the sunlight glancing off the tallest trees. And I smelt it in the air. I enjoyed the nip in the air even as I devoured it by the lungful. Felt good. Even in the car, stuck in the traffic jam on the way to office, I actually had the time to sit back, relax and watch the lake ...
Maybe today was just another day. It is just that for me, since childhood, autumn has always been so special that I cannot stop this feeling of exhilaration from taking me over completely. Autumn as a kid meant the Durga Pooja holidays ... 10 days or more ... lots of gifts and Diwali not too far away. It also meant exams ... but that was a trivial concern. What really mattered were the 3 months of winter holidays.
There was the excitement of packing up and going off to be with Dad for the holidays. No studies!
Sometimes, it would not be possible to visit Dad. But that meant that we'd spend the holidays in the pine woods behind our colony - exploring. The pine needles would fall in a thick slippery carpet between the trees. We'd get rusty pieces of tin and use them to "ski" on the slopes. Inevitably, we'd eventually get cut or nicked by the tin sooner or later ... and then there would be the long walk up the hill to my uncles house to get the dreaded anti-tetanus shot.
A million other memories come to mind. I remember sitting out in the yard, back to the sun, eating oranges. Just that doing nothing else. Eating oranges. We'd use the "magnifying glass" to burn patterns into the wooden veranda railings. Hours of sunshine gave us a lot of time to get creative.
Playing cricket, badminton and other games - what made that so special was the fact that we kids actually cleared out a field by ourselves. We used it for a winter or two before someone came and built a house on it.
We didn't watch a whole lot of movies or TV. There wasn't any fast food to be had - unless you count bulls eyes (hard orange sweets). There was just us ... my brother, me, our small gang of friends, mom, dad, grandparents, my uncle aunt and cousin ... there were Enid Blytons (strictly for me - I was the book worm) ...
And that was about all.
And, that was about enough too ...
for then - and today I realize - for the life time to come.
(The first time I declared that to be the case was towards the end of July if I remember right)
I felt it this morning as I woke up - despite the sneezing. Saw it - as I opened the door and stepped out - in the clear blue skies and the sunlight glancing off the tallest trees. And I smelt it in the air. I enjoyed the nip in the air even as I devoured it by the lungful. Felt good. Even in the car, stuck in the traffic jam on the way to office, I actually had the time to sit back, relax and watch the lake ...
Maybe today was just another day. It is just that for me, since childhood, autumn has always been so special that I cannot stop this feeling of exhilaration from taking me over completely. Autumn as a kid meant the Durga Pooja holidays ... 10 days or more ... lots of gifts and Diwali not too far away. It also meant exams ... but that was a trivial concern. What really mattered were the 3 months of winter holidays.
There was the excitement of packing up and going off to be with Dad for the holidays. No studies!
Sometimes, it would not be possible to visit Dad. But that meant that we'd spend the holidays in the pine woods behind our colony - exploring. The pine needles would fall in a thick slippery carpet between the trees. We'd get rusty pieces of tin and use them to "ski" on the slopes. Inevitably, we'd eventually get cut or nicked by the tin sooner or later ... and then there would be the long walk up the hill to my uncles house to get the dreaded anti-tetanus shot.
A million other memories come to mind. I remember sitting out in the yard, back to the sun, eating oranges. Just that doing nothing else. Eating oranges. We'd use the "magnifying glass" to burn patterns into the wooden veranda railings. Hours of sunshine gave us a lot of time to get creative.
Playing cricket, badminton and other games - what made that so special was the fact that we kids actually cleared out a field by ourselves. We used it for a winter or two before someone came and built a house on it.
We didn't watch a whole lot of movies or TV. There wasn't any fast food to be had - unless you count bulls eyes (hard orange sweets). There was just us ... my brother, me, our small gang of friends, mom, dad, grandparents, my uncle aunt and cousin ... there were Enid Blytons (strictly for me - I was the book worm) ...
And that was about all.
And, that was about enough too ...
for then - and today I realize - for the life time to come.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
finally, a prayer
Not writing as often as I used to or as often as I want to. Probably, by the end of this year I'll have churned out a lot less than what I did the previous year. Which is fine perhaps since I am not in the publishing business ... but at the same time, doesn't quite feel right.
Today, I was just browsing and reading some of the blogs that I read when I went on to some newer blogs ... and was touched ... enough to actually consider writing something myself.
Having said that, I am still not sure what I really intend to write. The thing uppermost in my mind as I write this is my recent engagement. And yet, I am somehow not sure that I can share much about it.
It is funny really - like some sort of a curse out of Mahabharata perhaps - though I am generally able to express myself reasonably well both in writing and in speech, it is at times when I most need to express myself that these skills fail me. I have not been able to quite fathom this out yet. At times, I believe that this is me just being a man - unable to connect to what I really feel. That just does not seem to be likely enough. I don't know.
There isn't much point in agonising over that any further. The gist of the matter being that I am engaged and though it is on my mind, I refuse to write about it.
So .. what next?
Today is Diwali. No. I think today is Naraka Chaturdashi, tomorrow is Kali Pooja and the day after is Diwali. But I am not a pundit and do I cannot really verify this gut feeling. What matters is that we are currently celebrating the festival of lights here in India.
It is pretty late in the night but I can still hear the occasional fire cracker going off in the distance. The air outside is pretty thick with smoke ... stale ... sinking ... drifting. Pungent enough to drive the mosquitoes into the house though - which is why I have closed the window and the door.
Inside, I sit at my desk, hunched over my laptop. The ceiling fan turns overhead ... not really noisily ... but not quietly either. It is quiet enough for me to hear dad in the adjacent room when he sometimes mutters loudly in his sleep. I have the table lamp on my study desk pointed up towards the ceiling. The diffused light makes the room look very warm. The shadow of the Japanese lantern moves in rhythm with the fan as the lantern itself gently sways underneath.
Peace and quiet. The dogs are all quiet tonight - scared by the sounds of crackers going off all evening I suppose. No cars driving on the lane in front of my house either - possibly most of the offices closed early and no late drops from office.
Shipra is eating a traditional Bengali dish at a Diwali party somewhere ... she called a while ago.
It is at times like this that I can really appreciate all that I have.
One evening like this makes everything worthwhile.
Thank you for this moment God. And thank you for giving me the time and the ability to appreciate it...
Today, I was just browsing and reading some of the blogs that I read when I went on to some newer blogs ... and was touched ... enough to actually consider writing something myself.
Having said that, I am still not sure what I really intend to write. The thing uppermost in my mind as I write this is my recent engagement. And yet, I am somehow not sure that I can share much about it.
It is funny really - like some sort of a curse out of Mahabharata perhaps - though I am generally able to express myself reasonably well both in writing and in speech, it is at times when I most need to express myself that these skills fail me. I have not been able to quite fathom this out yet. At times, I believe that this is me just being a man - unable to connect to what I really feel. That just does not seem to be likely enough. I don't know.
There isn't much point in agonising over that any further. The gist of the matter being that I am engaged and though it is on my mind, I refuse to write about it.
So .. what next?
Today is Diwali. No. I think today is Naraka Chaturdashi, tomorrow is Kali Pooja and the day after is Diwali. But I am not a pundit and do I cannot really verify this gut feeling. What matters is that we are currently celebrating the festival of lights here in India.
It is pretty late in the night but I can still hear the occasional fire cracker going off in the distance. The air outside is pretty thick with smoke ... stale ... sinking ... drifting. Pungent enough to drive the mosquitoes into the house though - which is why I have closed the window and the door.
Inside, I sit at my desk, hunched over my laptop. The ceiling fan turns overhead ... not really noisily ... but not quietly either. It is quiet enough for me to hear dad in the adjacent room when he sometimes mutters loudly in his sleep. I have the table lamp on my study desk pointed up towards the ceiling. The diffused light makes the room look very warm. The shadow of the Japanese lantern moves in rhythm with the fan as the lantern itself gently sways underneath.
Peace and quiet. The dogs are all quiet tonight - scared by the sounds of crackers going off all evening I suppose. No cars driving on the lane in front of my house either - possibly most of the offices closed early and no late drops from office.
Shipra is eating a traditional Bengali dish at a Diwali party somewhere ... she called a while ago.
It is at times like this that I can really appreciate all that I have.
One evening like this makes everything worthwhile.
Thank you for this moment God. And thank you for giving me the time and the ability to appreciate it...
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Guess I’ll never be a prophet.
The last post was about whether I’d ever stop blogging and for all practical purposes, I have. So, one may want to believe that I’ll never make it as a prophet or a soothsayer.
On the other hand, the more optimistically inclined may construe this last post to be a premonition about things to come – the fact that I touched upon the topic – the actual contents of the post being irrelevant.
So, now that we are as uncertain about my prophetic abilities as when we began, it is a good time to move on to some other topic. The prior paragraphs having done justice to the title of the post.
There are a million things that have kept me away from blogging, photo.net and all my other online activities in general.
My Parents are back with me and we are having a pretty good time together. Durga Pooja was came and went … and the shopping that goes with that came and stayed. Just prior to that, my in-laws-to-be were here, and that was pretty exciting too … and then there has been the shopping for the engagement … and shopping generally … and all sorts of stuff …
Add to this my normal office work and add to that the fact that I haven’t been keeping quite so well for a while and you get a picture – chaotic huh!
Yes and of late the next new adventure has been second life which is why the animation project has taken a back seat too!
Coming back to this not keeping well thing …
My malady has been diagnosed as “environmental allergy” – an allegation that I cannot deny. I am, after all, allergic to a whole bunch of things around me as many of my previous posts all bear witness. Surprisingly, the reaction is apparently not confined to my mind alone but manifests itself in my body as well. The good news is that it isn’t anything I can worry myself to death over … and it shouldn’t kill me either. As a matter of fact, on the contrary, in all likelihood it will actually get over by the end of the season and in the meanwhile, I continue to be my usual grumpy, irritable self.
I sometimes can’t help feeling that this is just the sort of malady that Jerome K. Jerome was talking about in three men in a boat (not to mention the dog) – something that can be cured by a pointless boat trip down a scenic placid river. In the middle of all the chaos, I cannot help but imagine myself adrift in a boat on a river with some of my friends … ah! Solitude … blue skies with wispy white clouds … the sound of the water against the sides of the boat … the gentle rolling motion … droplets of water as my friends row the boat … my feet tucked in comfortably under the dog … warm and fuzzy … maybe a bee buzzing here and there among the low hanging boughs that pass by … bliss!
Coming back to that prophecy thing, in my previous post, I mentioned that one line that I am almost jealous for not having written myself ….perhaps, there’s a really good reason why I wasn’t destined to write it.
Come April, I’ll be married to Shipra … and on 31st of October, I shall be engaged to her. I am inclined to believe that this is why fate would have it that I was not the one to write that that line … and yet, I yearn too … to write something that would touch someone as much … I don’t know whether that line sounds so beautiful to me because it contains a name that I so relate to or whether I’d react just as strongly if there was some other name there … but I’d give anything to be able to touch someone with my writing as much.
Well, wishful thinking aside, the writing I assume shall continue … for better or worse. The more interesting thing is that I cannot quite write off a career as a prophet just yet either ….
So, stay tuned … who knows what’ll happen next (how bloody un-prophetic of me to admit that though).
On the other hand, the more optimistically inclined may construe this last post to be a premonition about things to come – the fact that I touched upon the topic – the actual contents of the post being irrelevant.
So, now that we are as uncertain about my prophetic abilities as when we began, it is a good time to move on to some other topic. The prior paragraphs having done justice to the title of the post.
There are a million things that have kept me away from blogging, photo.net and all my other online activities in general.
My Parents are back with me and we are having a pretty good time together. Durga Pooja was came and went … and the shopping that goes with that came and stayed. Just prior to that, my in-laws-to-be were here, and that was pretty exciting too … and then there has been the shopping for the engagement … and shopping generally … and all sorts of stuff …
Add to this my normal office work and add to that the fact that I haven’t been keeping quite so well for a while and you get a picture – chaotic huh!
Yes and of late the next new adventure has been second life which is why the animation project has taken a back seat too!
Coming back to this not keeping well thing …
My malady has been diagnosed as “environmental allergy” – an allegation that I cannot deny. I am, after all, allergic to a whole bunch of things around me as many of my previous posts all bear witness. Surprisingly, the reaction is apparently not confined to my mind alone but manifests itself in my body as well. The good news is that it isn’t anything I can worry myself to death over … and it shouldn’t kill me either. As a matter of fact, on the contrary, in all likelihood it will actually get over by the end of the season and in the meanwhile, I continue to be my usual grumpy, irritable self.
I sometimes can’t help feeling that this is just the sort of malady that Jerome K. Jerome was talking about in three men in a boat (not to mention the dog) – something that can be cured by a pointless boat trip down a scenic placid river. In the middle of all the chaos, I cannot help but imagine myself adrift in a boat on a river with some of my friends … ah! Solitude … blue skies with wispy white clouds … the sound of the water against the sides of the boat … the gentle rolling motion … droplets of water as my friends row the boat … my feet tucked in comfortably under the dog … warm and fuzzy … maybe a bee buzzing here and there among the low hanging boughs that pass by … bliss!
Coming back to that prophecy thing, in my previous post, I mentioned that one line that I am almost jealous for not having written myself ….perhaps, there’s a really good reason why I wasn’t destined to write it.
Come April, I’ll be married to Shipra … and on 31st of October, I shall be engaged to her. I am inclined to believe that this is why fate would have it that I was not the one to write that that line … and yet, I yearn too … to write something that would touch someone as much … I don’t know whether that line sounds so beautiful to me because it contains a name that I so relate to or whether I’d react just as strongly if there was some other name there … but I’d give anything to be able to touch someone with my writing as much.
Well, wishful thinking aside, the writing I assume shall continue … for better or worse. The more interesting thing is that I cannot quite write off a career as a prophet just yet either ….
So, stay tuned … who knows what’ll happen next (how bloody un-prophetic of me to admit that though).
Friday, September 07, 2007
will I ever stop blogging?
Down with fever yet again ... this time worse than before ... crossing 102 every few hours.
Feeling slightly better now ... was randomly checking my favourites on IE on my laptop ... which is placed conveniently close to my bed when I came across a blog that I had book-marked for following. In one of his posts he wrote something that so touched me somehow that I really really wanted to read everything he ever wrote ... but then the author disappeared ... leaving his blog to languish for the past three and a half years.
The words that so struck me and that I am almost jealous for not having written myself are as follows (reproduced here without permission ... am not sure how to contact the author but here is a link to the original blog):
"Shipra was the girl whose picture you want to carry in your wallet so that when someone asks "Why didn't you get married?" the next time, you can show them the pic and say "Because she did". "
The weird thing is that you would expect someone that wrote so well to continue writing. However, the person has disappeared. And, like i mentioned in a previous post, there is no way of knowing just what has befallen the individual. So, while you hope for the best ... like perhaps the old bloke just got married and quite obviously gave up everything else for a lack of time ... there is always that little thing at the back of your mind ...
So, what are the chances that I'll stop blogging?
When I began writing this post, I thought the answer would be - never.
But now, as I sit at the comp the next morning finishing the post, I realize that sometimes life leaves you with very little time. You may care about a million things but with time as a critical resource, at some point you need to quantify and rank your concerns ... and you realize that you care about some things so much more that you may be willing to give up everything else for them ... and so, a time may come when I shall indeed stop blogging.
When I think of it today, the most likely reason for me to eventually stop blogging will probably be this: I dislike doing things mechanically just for the sake of doing them. If for lack of time or whatever other reason, I find myself writing only for the sake of continuity, just to keep the blog alive, that will probably be the day I hang up my keyboard as it were ...
Yeah ... that'd be it.
Feeling slightly better now ... was randomly checking my favourites on IE on my laptop ... which is placed conveniently close to my bed when I came across a blog that I had book-marked for following. In one of his posts he wrote something that so touched me somehow that I really really wanted to read everything he ever wrote ... but then the author disappeared ... leaving his blog to languish for the past three and a half years.
The words that so struck me and that I am almost jealous for not having written myself are as follows (reproduced here without permission ... am not sure how to contact the author but here is a link to the original blog):
"Shipra was the girl whose picture you want to carry in your wallet so that when someone asks "Why didn't you get married?" the next time, you can show them the pic and say "Because she did". "
The weird thing is that you would expect someone that wrote so well to continue writing. However, the person has disappeared. And, like i mentioned in a previous post, there is no way of knowing just what has befallen the individual. So, while you hope for the best ... like perhaps the old bloke just got married and quite obviously gave up everything else for a lack of time ... there is always that little thing at the back of your mind ...
So, what are the chances that I'll stop blogging?
When I began writing this post, I thought the answer would be - never.
But now, as I sit at the comp the next morning finishing the post, I realize that sometimes life leaves you with very little time. You may care about a million things but with time as a critical resource, at some point you need to quantify and rank your concerns ... and you realize that you care about some things so much more that you may be willing to give up everything else for them ... and so, a time may come when I shall indeed stop blogging.
When I think of it today, the most likely reason for me to eventually stop blogging will probably be this: I dislike doing things mechanically just for the sake of doing them. If for lack of time or whatever other reason, I find myself writing only for the sake of continuity, just to keep the blog alive, that will probably be the day I hang up my keyboard as it were ...
Yeah ... that'd be it.
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