Sunday, January 28, 2007

a need to blog

2:30 am in the morning.

It has been a while. New Year's eve came and found me at the office and the rest of the month has been pretty much the same.

Finally, at the end of the first weekend at home, after a couple of days of sleep, and self cooked meals, relaxed.

Went to bed early ... around midnight but sleep wouldn't come. Decided to meditate for a while and did so with some success for the first time in about 3 years. Haven't felt this good in a long while. Every muscle un-taut, every sound crystal clear, every sight, every smell...

Left the lights off and walked around a while... then walked downstairs, looked out to the deserted street in the light of the one street lamp throwing long shadows. The long grass in my unkempt lawn swayed slightly in the breeze as did the tree on the other side of the road.

Lit up, and sat down to listen to the ticks from the two wall clocks ... one in the living room and the other on the landing on the way to the bedrooms. The two are slightly out of sync and it is easy to mistake the sound of one to be the echo of the other. The curtains rustled a little in the wind. Watched the light shine off the mosaic floor, the glass table, the TVscreen ...

Peace. Even the dogs had stopped howling for a while.

As I stubbed out and proceeded upstairs, the dogs started again in the distance ... an orchestra of sorts - longish howls, short yelps, guttural growls and myriad other variations. Thought I'd share the moment. It has been such a while. The need to express is so strong and gets so much stronger with each passing day that you are unable to fulfill it.

Have been reading some shorter posts every now and then ... when I could squeeze in a couple of minutes in my schedule ... can't help wondering if I'll ever shut up myself :)
Whether I'll ever feel like I have said all I can or want to ... or when someone will shut me up saying something as corny as ... "you say it best when you say nothing at all" ...

Good night .. and good repose!