A special day

Today is special. Why so?
Well, one may argue that every day is special. On the other hand, one may just as well argue that every day is just the same. The only thing that makes any day different from any other is how we perceive it. The speciality is therefore not in the day at all...

Now, if you will please put your balderdash aside and stop arguing, perhaps I can go ahead and explain why I think that today ought to be special.

Today is special because it is the 29th of February. A day created in order to compensate for the flaw in our measurement of time. Today is a day that comes once in 4 years. New Years and Birthdays repeat with such tenacious regularity that they get incredibly boring over time. Also, a year is too short a time frame to really ruminate over. A decade is a better option. But generally, when you try to ruminate over times that far back, you remember emotions more clearly. It isn't so much about the colour of the shirt you were wearing as it is about the feeling that you were feeling.

4 years is just about right in this respect. It helps you look at the bigger picture. At the same time, you still remember enough to analyze things better.You can see the bigger picture but still retain enough information to zoom in if you are so inclined.Yes. That is definitely a more graceful and better way of putting it.
From this point of view, 29th of February is a very special day.what were you doing on 31st March 10 years ago? Probably you don't remember. What will you be doing on 7th December 10 years from now? You probably cannot predict with much accuracy. Will you remember what you thought today on 7th December 10 years later? Doubtful again.

What were you doing on 29th February 4 years ago? Relatively less hazy. You might not remember exactly how that day unfolded. You will probably remember what you were working on though. What will you be doing on the next 29th February? Chances are, you will predict with slightly greater accuracy. And will you remember on the next 29th February, what you thought for yourself today? Much likelier don't you think?
:) I can see some of you shaking your heads and disagreeing with each of the statements above. That doesn't change my resolution though ... I intend to spend every 29th Feb ruminating ... sober... unlike New Year eve.

a thought ...

What stops us from flying?
What stops us from growing wings?

Why must a man look ludicrous, arms flapping by his sides, if he should ever desire to fly? Why indeed, when man can now fly faster, higher and further than anything that was Created explicitly with the purpose to do so?

Is it that in our longing to fly, we have out done the Creator himself?
Is it possible?
What would that imply?

Unlike Icarus, we do not fall to the ground with the wax melting of our wings - a mess of wax and bones, of flesh and feathers ... and blood ... mixed with the sand and gravel...

So is it the desire to fly ... is this what makes us better at flying then those that are naturally endowed with the capability?

If this is true of flying, should it not also hold true for all else?
That success is not determined so much by the talents that we naturally possess, as it is by the desire to succeed in a particular endeavor!

It may take more than one life time though ...

another saturday morning

Rather loosely speaking really ... it is more like noon ... but then I have just woken up ... and my life is still in second gear. So, for all practical purposes, this is morning.

Now that I have justified the title of the post ... I'd better get down to the business of writing. My laptop has an hour and sixteen minutes of battery left ... so that is the maximum amount of time that I can actually spend on this... Though, really, that is the least of the constraints. Like every other weekend, I have a million things left to do...

So here I am, seated on the sofa, in front of the TV (which is on but muted). Outside, it is a glorious day. The school at the end of the road just got over for the day and the street outside is filled with kids ... small bunches ... big groups ... a kaleidoscope of colors and a cacophony of shrill voices... as they walk or run around kicking up the dust.

I doubt if they can see me seated here in my pajamas ... feeling a lot like Yossarian on that tree during the funeral ... unkempt hair ... unshaved ... eyes still bleary from not having slept right ... cynical. It is far too bright outside for them to be able to see inside the house ... though none of the curtains are drawn. So, I can sit here, invisible, paying attention only to my thoughts ... and the sound of the gently rotating fan - too slow for comfort. Good for them. Let them be as they are as long as they can.

I think till this morning, I never did really know what childhood innocence means. And now, I don't know when I lost it. Prehaps the most ridiculous part is that I don't think I can really define it even now... in so many words.

No it actually gets better - I am not so sure whether it is more regrettable that we eventually lose our childhood innocence or that we are born with it in the first place.

stuck!

A dark dismal day.



Thought I'd woken up early - as is often the case - and would have gone back to sleep had I not checked the time. The clock showed 9:30 and so, out of curiosity I decided to get out of bed and investigate ...



Turned out to be a cloudy day ... which would have been bearable ... but it started drizzling even as I watered the plants. Had breakfast and then watched the rain drops fall on the windshield of my car ... once every few minutes, enough drops collect to form a small droplet that slides down ... forming a small rivulet that takes along with it all the little drops that lie in its path ...and fall to the ground ... creating small puddles along the edge of the car.



Still brooding, surfed the channels till I figured out where VH1 had shifted over the past week ... and finally tuned in to VH1 classics ... and now, as I write this post, I can hear Rod Stewart's plaintive wails for a downtown girl ... makes me think of the subway in NY ... even the Metra in Chicago perhaps ...



There's so much to do. But as I sit here at my laptop, I don't think I have it in me today to do anything ... not even to scramble up a lunch or to drive down to grab something ...



And now meatloaf is playing ... the background score to my life currently is the grim ... "objects in the rear view mirror" ... but right now I have no inclination to look thither either.



I feel like a paratrooper as he stands at the door of the plane about to jump off ... flak all around ... but the plane somehow feels safer for a while as compared to the ground below ... even as he sees the next plane slide into a nose dive ... flames spewing ... and hears the engines as they scream ... trying to claw at the air ... to no avail ... "boommm" ... the light flashes green and it is time to jump ...



I am stuck in this moment ... and can't get out of it ...