its been a while ...

initially, i didn't have time
then i decided to stay off the net for a while as i had a lot to complete
and then there was ...


well anyway.


i never thought that it would be difficult for me to write.
over the past few days, i have started quite a few times only to scrap the post halfway.
not sure whether this will make it to "publish" - but that is the intention.

it isn't that i don't have things to write about ... i haven't written for so long that i feel like a champagne bottle ... all the little bubbles of thought trying to burst forth ... just that i happen to be a sentient bottle with a desire to have some control over which bubble goes out when ...

while i was off the net, one of the blogs from my list of "blogs that I read" got deleted - no clue why. another, thankfully came back - her last post was under rather trying circumstances and then she just disappeared for a long while.

that is one problem i have had. blame me for being too attached to people i haven't even met and am not likely to meet in this life time.

say you meet someone on chat ... or you read someones blog ... and suddenly, one fine day, they disappear. what do you make of it? there is no way of finding out ... the only thing you have is a yahoo id or some blog URL which may not be working anymore.

while you always hope that something good has happened that has caused the person to leave the virtual world to do something more fulfilling in the real world perhaps ... there is always that uncertainty ...

like i said, probably i am the one to blame - for being to attached. i don't feel the same way for everyone that i pass on the streets (thankfully) ... but then what is different about the Internet?

some soul searching required.


a lot has happened since i last really wrote here ... from the massacre at Georgia tech to the ndtv report on the legal system in our country to the safe landing of space shuttle atlantis at St. Edwards (much to the disappointment of the local media i suspect)

things that i'd probably have written about ...
but i realize something. timing is very important. though how u feel about something may not change over the year, when you decide to do something about it really matters.

better late than never might be fine when it comes to driving.
better never than late is perhaps more appropriate when it comes to some other things in life.

.... and now i have screwed up the layout upgrade thing and have lost all the old links :(
just the sort of thing that I was talking about ... i have no way of recovering those links now!

waiting

I have never had to struggle so much to put down words.

My grandmother passed away yesterday morning.
Try as I might, I find myself unable to write anything about her.
And, try as I might, I find myself unable to think or write about anything else.

Time heals. Patience pays. I wait.