goodbye (maudlin)

As lobo said, and I quote (in that irritating matter gesturing with both your hands in the air):
"just like forgive, forget and try again
goodbye is just another word ..."

(if you liked the previous song that I'd posted, lobo is another singer that you'd probably like listening to)

While I agree with him wholeheartedly on this and most other issues, it does not change the fact that I am terrible with goodbyes myself. As a result, I tend to avoid them altogether; Generally by staying in touch for ever and ever and ever or (as has been the case a few difficult times) walking out pretty abruptly on the person without ever bothering to establish contact again or allowing the other person to do so ... and in a very few instances just failing to show up at the farewell meeting as it were.

Why all this talk about goodbyes?

My cousin came over to my house this weekend so that we could spend some time together before he left for home. Having completed his study and qualified as a dentist, it is time for him to go home and take his first steps in the real world in the footsteps of his father (my uncle) who is also a doctor.

Somehow, every time I looked at him, it failed to register that he was Dr. so and so ... to me he is still the kid brother ... It isn't all rose tinted stuff. As kids, we often fought tooth and nail over inconsequential things ... but there you have it.

We flipped through some of the old albums together... Durga Pooja time photographs ... found us wearing our first fake plastic watches ... with the shirt sleeves pulled way up so that the photographer didn't miss this most important detail ... other pics in which one or the other of us had bared their gums in a wide toothless grin ... wearing a birthday hat ...

We remembered almost every photograph with the incidents leading up to it ... in those days cameras were still rather expensive and not every kid was allowed to handle one ... so every once in a while we bumped into a pic of one of us looking all grumpy as one of the older cousins got the honor of being the one behind the lens ... somehow, the photographer still remains as much a part of the photograph despite having not appeared in it ...

Then there is the occasional photograph where one of us did get to touch the camera ... and that picture is really frozen somewhere in the eye of the mind ... burnt into some microcosm of our brains and even today, as you look at it you experience the thrill that you did then when holding the camera ... and the only image you see is the one that you saw on that day through the view finder ... and all importantly called out "ready!!! ... say cheese!!!"

We spent the weekend talking some, watching movies, exchanging mp3s, watching old music videos... yeah we still get goosebumps from Metallica and the likes ... and eating of course ... what else can a couple of bongs do when they get together?

I realized that though my cooking has probably become better over the years, (you may choose to read that the outcome of the exercise has become more predictable), my appetite isn't what it used to be ... I realized with some consternation that probably for the first time, my younger cousin was probably able to eat more than me ...

We had breakfast lunch and dinner ... full blown that too ... over the last few years, thanks to the nature of the job, I am more used to one proper meal a day ... that too generally at the canteen ... which to be fair to the guys who sweat into it ... is mediocre at its best. Weekends, when given a choice between sleeping and eating, I choose to sleep ...

Anyway, on my way to office today I dropped him off near the bus stand ... gave him some gyan (big bro style) ... that pair of boots, I don't wear too well .. but then anyways ... and told him to drop by once in a while ...

But then I hardly ever get to meet my relatives ... they are too comfortably settled to travel all the way to meet me ... and I am too highly strung to spend a holiday that does not have some high serious unwinding involved ... so (if ever (though I must admit that sounds far fetched even to myself(but not all that far-fetched considering the fact that I last met my own brother about seven years ago))) it is as Shakespeare so aptly put it in Julius Caesar when Brutus says ... and yes I am wildly swinging my arms and clawing at the air again to indicate the double quotes:

"For ever, and for ever, farewell, Cassius!
If we do meet again, why, we shall smile;
If not, why then, this parting was well made."