In Memoriam

As I was watching the 78th academy awards tonight, they came to the section – “In Memoriam”. As the movie clips rolled on, showing the various people associated with the industry that passed away over the last year, I was deeply moved. I could recognize very few of them … like the sansei from the karate kid series. That however was not the reason for the movement.

I think it is a marvelous thing to do … even if it is for a moment, probably millions of people around the world realize that a face that they have taken for granted perhaps from child hood, is no-more. Though we may keep seeing them over and over again, in movies old, and new to us, they are gone …

It made me remember the dear ones that I have lost over the years – my father’s father, my father’s mother, and my Mother’s father, three of my uncles, one of them very dear, one of the professors from my engineering college that I respected a lot … and that about sums up the list.

I have lost others but not by death – not by death of the person that is. Sometimes trust died, sometimes love, sometimes respect … yes there have been a small number of fatalities that way too.

So, I took some time to remember all these people … and finally, my thoughts came back to me. Funny, how consistently, like a dog playing fetch, my thoughts always boomerang and come back to me.

Will I be remembered too? What will I be remembered for? Do I want to be remembered? Is it important to be remembered? What do I want to be remembered for?

It is always easier to ask questions than to provide answers. I believe that phrasing the question correctly allows you to arrive at the answer. Currently though, I will have to admit that the reason I am banging this out on the keyboard in the middle of the night is more because of a rush of emotions than logic (if there can be such a rush) … which is why I am reluctant to explore the possibility of refining any question.

If I were to die tonight, some people would remember me for I made them laugh. A few, because I made them cry. Some wouldn’t be too sure how to feel … except perhaps a vague feeling of unease “Oh! Damn! He was about my age … I’d better be careful too”.
A lot of people around the world would be able to talk to their loved ones because of a small part of me … but hardly anyone even thinks of Graham Bell … so who the hell am I?

Feeling sleepy now, and the wave of emotion has moved on. When you aren’t swamped by emotions, contemplating your death and such is not fun business. So, I’ll end here. A single tear drop on my left cheek – a tribute to all love lost.