I am, as it were, "going to the mattresses" (an expression made famous by The Godfather). Tomorrow, there is a strike to protest a judgment in a water dispute between two states, and though it is all for a "good and just cause", it is always the commoner that gets hit the worst. So, while we are praying and hoping that things will be fine and there wont be any violence, I have enough food to last me a couple of weeks (maybe more if I ration it out), and unless a mob comes and drags me out and burns me or something, I should live past this day.
As I sat after dinner today, surfing the channels, I was wondering about my next post. I wasn't sure whether to talk about the strike tomorrow or just generally ramble as usual. In general, there is always this dilemma that I have. Should I make this blog a happy place ... or should I make it a sad place. Till date, I have just let it be whatever it becomes without making any conscious efforts to portray a specific facet of my thoughts.
A couple of months ago (perhaps more), I once went searching for some of the most popular blogs in India. Almost invariably, they were extremely disturbing. Many of the authors appeared to have scrounged the news papers only to regurgitate everything back on their blogs, after having added a little additional information and copious amounts of venom.
The reason I have spewed some venom in the last paragraph is probably because they were so disturbing. This isn't just about blogging. It is something about life itself. The other day, after a pretty taxing day at the office, I came home to turn on the TV and switch to a news channel as I prepared dinner. There was the usual death and gore. However, there was something that really sickened me. The gist of it is provided below (It is really disgusting. I didn't eat much that night ... so feel free to skip the paragraph):
A man had stolen a hammer from where he worked (worth about 100 rupees). He had stolen it apparently because his daughter was very sick and he did not have the money to get her treated. The owner of the place where he worked (I don't remember the nature of work) traced the man to his home with a gang of about 6 people and almost beat him to death. When his wife begged and pleaded for his life, they said that they would let him live if she allowed them to rape her (agree to rape??? - this was how the narration went though). She agreed to this, and after they were all done, they killed the husband and left.
The media reported that the latest on the case was that the cops were now calling the lady everyday to the station to ask her horrible questions as a part of the "investigation".
The problem I face is how to deal with things like this. Everyday, the world seems to be getting worse. It isn't really. It was pretty much the same during all ages. It is just that this sort of behavior seems more unpardonable at this juncture in our history when we for all logical purposes are capable of rising above such dastardly acts.
Perhaps for the first time since our fore-fathers walked this earth, we have been able to find cures for most of the diseases. We understand the human body better; we understand the human mind better. We have enough food to eradicate hunger ... there probably was enough food at all times but not the technology to distribute it where it is needed the most. We now have the technology ... but do we have the will?
All of humanity seems to be disintegrating at the seams. All of a sudden, we have new untreatable diseases that are cropping up from only god knows where. We have AIDS, bird flu, mad cow disease ... we have our own version of the crusade going on. Read about the dark ages in history books and such ... I'll be darned if the future generations don't label our times as the darkest of dark ages - a time when humanity doggedly maintained its "animality" despite having the option to rise above it - provided there are any future generations of course.
At a personal level, there are two ways of living life. Be a part of the rat race and worry only about the size of your paycheck, yearly bonus, stock options, size of your car, and the frills in your apartment. Or, try and change things. Believe in a humanity that is less and less visible ... and strive to bring that out in people. Give your life for it if required. Works for the poor, work for the under-privileged ... make a movement out of it.
Life is never about either-or in the country that was the birth-place of the middle-path. So, we can be in the rat race, and send off a monthly check in charity to some organization that might be misusing the money for all we know and be done with it.
Thought works differently from speech. I didn't think this entire trash sitting in front of the TV. The thought that hit me then was a paradox (which perhaps is known to others but I am often stricken by the obvious).
We always take hermits to be the very epitome of self-sacrifice. Those that have given up all worldly stuff and are out seeking higher things. The opposite would be royalty - in the midst of every worldly pleasure possible, inextricably tied to power...
But, really, the sage and the hermit are the selfish ones. All that they care about is themselves. As long as I get moksha, who cares if the rest of humanity is at war or peace or whatever?
An ideal ruler on the other hand, leads a life that is for the people. Making their woes his own, guiding them, helping them ... every action that he takes is for the good of others. His life really never is his own.
What I can't seem to find for myself is a balance between caring about what is going on around me and not caring. Looking at the bright picture and looking at the not so bright side. To misquote Richard Bach in illusions, all that you need to do to remove a dark cloud from your life is to remove it from your thoughts. That can be done easily enough. But is that the right thing to do?
What is right and what is wrong anyway? If we look at the Bhagvad Gita, it seems to teach us that it is never an act that is right or wrong ... it is the intention. This is perfect and logical in a world where morals change on a regular basis. It is a perfect definition because it is not set in any absolutes. It changes with the times, without changing at all.
It is one thing to read, another thing to understand. What you do though for yourself is very far removed from either. I can only hope that there will come a time, when having experienced enough of life, and having thought enough, I will know where I wish to stand with respect to life. And I hope that whatever I find for myself is as fluid and static as the words of the Gita so that I don't have to keep re-inventing the wheel.
In the meanwhile, it is the mattresses for me ... and as us heathen say ... this torment is perhaps all a part of my karma :)
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